Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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