We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
