I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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