My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
