whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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