Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
