All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
