if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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