You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
