in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
