I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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