I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
