Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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