Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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