So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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