Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
