i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
