I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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