And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
