you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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