what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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