I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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