Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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