I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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