According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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