There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you didnt know i had herpes?
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Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
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Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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