I'm gonna have a badass scar
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
