clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
