actually, I'm a sock model
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
