chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
