he thought i was a dude.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
