is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
