I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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