Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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