i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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