Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
All the doctor said was why
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
