Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
