what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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