that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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