My first STD was from a foam party
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize