you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
