it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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