i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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