Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
