Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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