Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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