I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
