i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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