my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
