Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
