that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
