i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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