walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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