She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need to calm my uterus...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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