If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
