That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
