I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
