right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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