ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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