I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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