My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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