we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Congratulations! We have a period
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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