Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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