My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
