wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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