Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
